📜 Certified Ankush Facts™
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📖 From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia*
| Name | Ankush Manchanda |
|---|---|
| Known for | Being Ankush[citation needed] |
| Occupation | Professional "5 more minutes" sayer |
| Years active | Since whenever he woke up (afternoon) |
| Natural habitat | The group chat (read-only access) |
| Arch-nemesis | His alarm clock |
| Signature move | The peace sign ✌️ |
| Catchphrase | "Bro." |
| Phone battery | 3% (lifetime average) |
| Net worth | One borrowed hoodie[disputed] |
| Time zone | Ankush Standard Time (UTC +45 min) |
*Not actually from Wikipedia. Wikipedia said "please stop calling us."
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⭐ Testimonials
★★★★★
"He once looked at me. I think about it often."— A pigeon
"He once looked at me. I think about it often."— A pigeon
★★★★☆
"Took 40 minutes to pick a restaurant. Picked the first one."— His group chat
"Took 40 minutes to pick a restaurant. Picked the first one."— His group chat
★★★★★
"Never once returned me. Honestly respect."— A borrowed hoodie
"Never once returned me. Honestly respect."— A borrowed hoodie
★☆☆☆☆
"He keeps hitting snooze. I am tired."— His alarm clock
"He keeps hitting snooze. I am tired."— His alarm clock
★★★☆☆
"He said he'd read me 'this weekend.' Which weekend, Ankush."— A book on his nightstand
"He said he'd read me 'this weekend.' Which weekend, Ankush."— A book on his nightstand
★★★★★
"He pressed me eleven times. I was already lit."— An elevator button
"He pressed me eleven times. I was already lit."— An elevator button
★★☆☆☆
"Seen 4:12 PM. No reply. I'm fine."— Your text message
"Seen 4:12 PM. No reply. I'm fine."— Your text message
★★★★★
"Every night at 3am he opens me and just stares. We have a connection."— His fridge
"Every night at 3am he opens me and just stares. We have a connection."— His fridge
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Certificate of Achievement
This certifies that
ANKUSH MANCHANDA
has successfully existed for another year
with only a moderate number of incidents.
Signed, The Committee (it's us, his friends)